Syndra and Tumblr, Dashcon Debut
by Cornonjacob
Summary: Tumblr, the personified website, and she and Syndra have the perfect opportunity to bond and fight against oppression (both real and imaginary) at a convention thrown in Tumblr's honor, a fan funded get together known as Dashcon. Thanks DoctorThracks for the inspiration. I wanted to write a joke about Dashcon, and she told me that Syndra would be perfect for making ballpit jokes.


Chapter One: Showing Her Stuff

There was a tense air and sense of anxiety on the fields of justice. The champions on one side were curious about their newcomer while the other side bought their doran's items and pots, and in Sejuani's case, a Hunter's Machete, unsure on how this turn of events would affect the outcome of the match. On the side of the former, the League's newest champion would be making her debut in the jungle. Her name was Tumblr, the Justice Warrior.

Her origins were not understood by the scholars of Valoran. All that they knew was what Tumblr had told them, that she was a construct called a "website" from a foreign dimension, brought to life and given human form by the rampant and hysterical emotions of the cult members that had used her as a means of communication. She claimed that she would fight for the League to help end oppression and bring social balance to the world. She sounded so sincere, calm, and tranquil when she explained her motivations to the champions of the League.

Which is why her top lane gank against Gangplank came as a shock to both her team and theirs. One moment Gangplank was farming and poking Quinn. The next next thing he knew, he heard an ear curdling scream of "YOU WHITE MALE CIS SCUM, STOP TOUCHING THAT WOMAN!" As Tumblr sprang from the bush she was hiding in, and took several unflattering pictures of him on her IPhone to blog about before viciously tearing him to shreds.

The next time she was seen was in bot lane. Taric and Lucian were losing their lane to Caitlyn and Thresh. Witnessing the gruesome fate of Gangplank, Thresh made sure to keep the bush warded at all time, but to no avail. Tumblr noticed Thresh placing another ward.

"Do you see this Lucian? This asshole thinks he can take away our privacy and violate our rights with these surveillance devices! He's. OPPRESSING ME!" Tumblr bellowed as she tore the ward out of the ground and impaled Thresh with it. Caitlyn tried to shoot Tumblr, only serving to make the situation worse as Tumblr began to go on a rant about the slackness of Valoran gun control and the problem of Piltover police brutality as she folded Caitlyn's body like a pretzel.

"Check your priviledge." she coldly whispered to the mangled corpse of the white woman she had just brought justice to

With Tumblr sliding the tide of victory towards the opposing team, Sejuani decided they needed to take a risk to win and decided to counter jungle. Unfortunately for her, Tumblr's unstoppable rage was was triggered again upon sighting them.

"Why are you riding that boar in this jungle? That's animal abuse! You can't treat that animal as a beast of war! You. White. Cis. SCUM!" was the last thing Sejuani heard before Tumblr strangled her with her anal bead collection before feeding her corpse to Bristle.

The only lane now that needed to taste her social justice was mid. Tumblr's heart skipped a beat as she realized she was coming to help her teammate Syndra. Tumblr had felt a connection to the young dark witch when she first saw her in the crowd of champions at Tumblr's introductory speech. Syndra had listened intently and Tumblr had known that they were kindred spirits, resenting the top position of the white man in the social hierarchy.

"Oh Syndra..." Tumblr moaned, "I love the way that you never let anyone ever oppress you..."

Tumblr emerged from the bush with a blissful expression and a flushed face. Knowing the fate of his teammates, Malzahard desperately used his Nether Grasp on Tumblr, hoping he could kill her and escape.

"You used your ult on me? I'm being suppressed? STOP! **OPPRESSING MEEEEEEE!**" Tumblr screeched at the top of her lungs. Her outrage and indignation broke free of Malzahar's crowd control and she tackled him.

Tumblr pulled out photos of overweight women proudly showing their unshaved legs and resistance to the demands of the patriarchy.

"DEAR MERCIFUL GOD, I HAVE SEEN THE TERRORS OF THE VOID, BUT I HAVE NEVER SEEN SOMETHING SO FORSAKEN." Malzahar screamed as he vomited in his scarf mask.

And with this unthoughtful white mans comment, Tumblr fully let go of her grip on reality and went into apocalypse mode. "**YOU WHITE CIS SCUM, HOW DARE YOU FAT SHAME THESE BRAVE WOMEN. I WILL DESTROY YOUR PATRIARCHAL WORLD YOU FEDORA WEARING NECKBEARD.**"

Malzahar only had a moment to be confused. He didn't have time to point out that he was not wearing a fedora before Tumblr tore open his neck and decapitated him, before throwing his severed head at the turret, a dispicable weapon of war responsible for the deaths of innocents, and destroying it.

The rest of the match passed in a blur as Tumblr singlehandedly destroyed the turrets and caved in the inhibitors, which were tools for suppressing the potential of the minions and as such represented the oppression faced by the transgendered from regular people who happened to be straight.

Syndra knew she had feelings for Tumblr then, as she saw her burst her opponents to death just as well as she could and how she fought against the oppression of the fedora patriarchy. Syndra just needed an excuse to date Tumblr, and excuse to spend time with her.

Her opportunity came at the end of the match when she heard about a party being thrown in Tumblr's honor.

Syndra shyly approached Tumblr. "Hey Tumblr, I think you did really great out there, and I admire you. Do you want to come to a party with me?

"What kind of party?" Tumblr's curiosity was piqued

"I'm not sure, but apparently the party is supposed to honor you. It's called Dashcon. Will you go with me? Entry is only 65 gold"

Tumblr grinned. She would be able to get closer to Syndra, and have an audience to preach to about the evils of society, cultural appropriation, and the tyrannical dominance of the white patriarchy. It was perfect.

"I'd love to." Tumblr replied

Syndra and Tumblr held hands, smiled at each other, and promised to meet again at Dashcon.

To be continued


End file.
